If you happened to stumble upon parts one and two of this Solo Travel: Redefined trilogy, here I am with the final recap of my first solo trip. Leaving behind my partner and three kids, I embarked on a week of adventuring alone. No girlfriends, nada.
As you can likely imagine, the week was absolutely divine. I enjoyed every second I had with me, myself and I. As well as discovering more and more of the magical town of Sayulita, Mexico and the amazing people who reside there.
Yet, instead of reflecting on the trip itself I thought I’d dive into what I have found as I talk to more and more women about taking myself on this little getaway.
I know you want a solo trip too…
Every woman I spoke with mimicked the same sentiment. They want a solo getaway too. Words like “dreamy…” and “heaven…” were definitely a theme. And, since my work with Wild Hive is focused on women coming alive, to me these thoughts and longings felt very familiar. I am experiencing it myself and I am witnessing so many other women going through it as well. We give, give and give. In a patriarchal society, this is simply what we have been conditioned to do, without question. We push through. We might incorporate a little self care here and there, drink an extra glass of wine (!!!) but nothing that truly or significantly fills our own cup. Which of course we all know we should do first 😉 Yet, it feels ever elusive.
So many women express hesitation and list off all the reasons why they can’t get away. And, I listen. Yet because I have spent the past several years curating and guiding retreats for women, I also know how common these thoughts are and how much guilt arises when we begin to think about our own needs. How dare we prioritize our own health and wellbeing. Spend money on ourselves. Take time away for ourselves. Or, gasp! – ask our partners to step up, knowing very well that they can handle it. And, that likely our kids need a break from us too! Of course this does require us to let go of [the illusion of] control, but that’s an entirely separate blog post!
There’s something in the air…
I don’t know if it’s everything we’ve been going through these past several years or a yearning for more feminine energy…a combination, among other things. So many women are going through something akin to a metamorphosis. It feels like it’s in the air. I vulnerably share with a few people and the next thing I know we’re swapping stories of our own transitions and reawakening. I believe that there comes a point when we are provided with an opportunity to either endure a discomfort of staying the same and pushing down our frustrations, resentments, sacrifices OR enduring the discomfort of learning how to use our voices, reclaiming our identities and going after long put off dreams. As difficult as it is, I am harnessing any courage I can muster and choosing the latter.
Little by little, we are inviting ourselves home [within]. To live with integrity and in alignment with who we are — as a whole. Shadow and all. Separate from our families. And, it’s ok. Yes, it’s scary and it’s different and that’s ok too.
Taking myself on this solo trip allowed me a full week to do anything I wanted. To be fully transparent, it wasn’t even long enough! And, I don’t feel guilt for admitting that. Now that I am back home I clearly see how many distractions there are. I started writing in Sayulita and since returning home I’ve barely had a moment to get back into it. I know it’ll happen when the time is right, yet I also know what a gift it was to have that week to myself. I feel its profoundness.
The side effects…
There are so many tangents to this, such as the pleasant outcome of spending time alone, making a dent in your stack of books, feeling empowered to begin new practices in living the life of our dreams. I laughed as I played around in the waves by myself, giggling as I surrendered to the wildness. Making new friends. The ability to practice yoga every day! Eat whatever I wanted…sometimes that was a Mexican-style charcuterie board, because it was the only food I had (aka tortilla chips, manchego cheese, dried mango, almonds + mezcal!).
Yet, there’s an element to these life-changing experiences and prioritizing-self that is not often discussed. When we reconnect with ourselves, our hopes and our dreams, we have to choose to integrate those into our lives. And, this will require effort, hard conversations, highlighting repressed desires, spending a little less time mom-ing and more time delving into what makes us feel alive. It rocks the boat.
We often talk about this after a Wild Hive Adventure. It’s a magical, life altering week and when we return we feel a little heartbroken. This is an area that I am focusing on more and more with these experiences, and now with my own solo trip(s), and that is how to return to “normal life”, when we feel different. And, if there are anxieties or blocks that have been uncovered – what are those telling us? What changes do we need to make in order to life the live of our dreams? This is a significant (and sometimes heavy) side effect of shedding layers, rebirth and increased self awareness. I am hoping to provide more support on this soon as it has become quite a passion of mine in the work that I do. So stay tuned, but, do be prepared for this…
Bottom line: get out there…
Honestly, I encourage every woman to spend some time alone, ideally in a new place. You don’t have to go far. Find stillness. Embrace solitude. Connect with nature. Surrender. Reconnect to your inner wisdom and intuition. Surprise and delight yourself. These are all elements of re-balancing our feminine and masculine energies, and living more whole. I cannot think of any greater pursuit.
And, if there is guilt around leaving your kids, I encourage you to shift your mindset around what a gift it is for them. To watch their mom become more and more of herself.
I am so fortunate to be living this journey and hopefully helping to encourage and inspire other women to do the same. I am the first to admit that I have no clue what I am doing, but I am not afraid to jump in and test the waters.
Safe travels, sisters. 💕